I have no opinion
Of course, anyone who knows me knows that is rarely true. However, I have discovered that the older I get, the more like my Dad I become. And one of the habits that both my Dad and I have developed over age is an aversion to debating opinions.
Once upon a time I used to love trying to change people’s minds. I am not sure why, but at this point in my life, I have no appetite for it. And it’s not even so much that I respect other people’s right to their own opinion too much (after all, just because I have no interest in changing their minds doesn’t mean I don’t think they are wrong), it’s really just that I don’t find it worth the effort.
Ironically, this habit is the most problematic when it comes to my husband. Because he is so rational, he is actually one of the most reasonable people in the world when it comes to re-evaluating his opinion in the face of new information. It’s one of his best qualities. Because his goal is the best possible solution for something (anything), he is almost universally open to any feedback that can help him improve. He is the most non-defensive person I’ve ever met in that regard.
So on the rare occasion when I do push back in an effort to change his perspective on something, he will often surprise me by stopping, considering and then changing his position. That always blows me away.
I’m sure part of the reason that it shocks me is because I am waaaaaaaaaay too ego-driven to do that very gracefully. It takes me sitting with something for a while before I can admit to anyone that they persuaded me to change my mind. That’s really, really hard for me.
At work, though, this most commonly manifests itself during user experience debates. And the truth is, for no matter how much of my life I have spent doing this, I actually have no interest in UX whatsoever. I got online in 1993, before there were web browsers. For me, my principle concern is functionality. I care very little for UX under most circumstances.
And I have realized that — at least at work — the reason I absolutely hate UX debates is because it’s really just a bunch of people citing third-party sources to justify their opinion. And no matter how many outside experts we cite, in the end, it’s simply to justify our own opinion. And unless or until we do A/B testing, it is ONLY opinion.
And I am not in the market to change anyone’s opinion. And I’m not particularly interested in having anyone change mine. So these conversations just cause me to mentally check out, until I can come up with an excuse to physically duck out of the room.
Of course, the arguing still gives me a flippin’ headache.
